The Test

It's been a long time since I have taken a test and felt like I failed it. But, it happened last night.

I got home from work, the dog was still in her crate and Chris was gone to his mother's. I had a horrible headache and felt like I was going to vomit. I decided I would go in and just get this damn test overwith. I peed on the stick, put the lid on and then counted 180 seconds to the time of the clock over my head.

...one pink line...

Somehow, I managed to not really get very emotional about it. Instead, I felt completely numb. Like, I wasn't relieved that I wasn't pregnant but I wasn't sad about it either. I guess that's a good thing. Although, it is still in my mind that I have yet to miss a period so there's still a chance that if the relatives don't come in the next few days then I could take another test and be pregnant.

Although, now that I've taken two tests and they have both come back negative, I'm kind of to the point that I'm okay with not having a baby right now. Granted, last night I went to bed before Chris and I just kind of layed there crying... that's probably not a normal reaction for someone who is okay with not being pregnant. But, I guess I'll just wait and see what happens. I mean, if I really am not pregnant that means I can go out this weekend to Old Chicago for $2 LIT night and get plastered. Though, my best going out friend is in Vegas this week :(

Anyways, I just wanted to provide an update. I'm still an emotional basketcase as far as being totally pissed one second and then ready to cry the next but that still could just be from the period wanting to show up in a few days... We'll see...

By the way, I found out that my brother has strep throat... that in and of itself isn't really all that significant but, the fact that I've been feeling so miserable and stuff, maybe that's all my problem is. Maybe I just got strep throat since it does seem to be going around. Although, I am one of the most anti-social people I know so I'm not sure how I would have gotten it from somebody...

As far as the countdown to Florida goes, we have 14 days til we leave. I am so freaking excited! I really just want to get out of Kentucky and out of this miserable air. They say the Ohio River Valley is the worst place for someone with asthma to live. I guess maybe I'm just asking for a death sentence...

I'm kind of stressing out about all the stuff I need to get done before we leave for Florida. I have a paralegal competency exam that I'm required to take before I leave for Florida so that I will be able to graduate. Since I will be gone the week the exam is offered, I have to take the exam early on May 24th. I'm a little bit nervous about it. Although, the professor told me that I don't have to "pass" in order to graduate. I think it's just a thing for the school to be evaluated so they can remain an accredited school...

Also, before leaving for Florida, I have to finish a like 12-page memmorandum for my attorney who I'm doing the externship with. I have barely even started on the thing! I have to clean out my rabbit cages, turtle tank, and kitty litter box. Plus, I have a graduation seminar on Saturday morning and an eye doctor appointment that afternoon. Then, I still have to pack. Oh yeah, and I have three finals that I have to take! I know I tend to stress out about things but that's a lot of stuff to need to get done in two weeks! I really wanted to go get a pedicure the day before Florida but I highly doubt that will happen since I feel so busy already. I guess, as always, we'll have to wait and see...