Seriously?! Don't Kid Yourself!

Seriously?! I cannot believe that was just said...

So, I live in a house with my boyfriend. The house was purchased in only his name because we are not married... that's how we both wanted it to be.
We agreed that since he makes $20 an hour plus has a second job on the weekends making about $120+ a weekend and I only make $15 an hour and go to school full-time, that he would pay $500 a month toward the mortgage and I would pay only $300 a month toward the mortgage. All other bills would be split 50/50.

Well, since we bought our house in February of this year, he qualified for the $8000 tax credit. We both agreed that we needed to both get out of debt and with my tax return I had enough money to pay off all debt except my car and buy a new phone ($80). I also bought myself two shirts with my money...
He had enough money to pay off all his debt except his car and buy an X-Box ($350)... we agreed that we would put the rest of the money back --about $1000-- to go toward our second mortgage.

Soon after him buying his X-Box, he was able to get side skirts for his car. He paid to get them shipped and painted/installed. All the while, I needed an alignment for my car, air filters for my car, 2 lug nuts b/c kids in the neighborhood stole them, and new pants b/c I've gained weight and only have three pairs of work pants.

Now, while I still need all of those things, he spent $400 just today to get an exhaust for his car.

Well, the whole point of this post. He actually made the comment yesterday that he is supporting me!!! Let me break this down... He pay $200 more than I do a month toward the mortgage. He probably pays for groceries twice as often as I do... Our groceries each time we go to the store only ever cost about $20... He almost never takes me out on a date. He never buys me flowers unless I ask for them and he never buys me anything else... How the FUCK is he supporting me?! Seriously?! I have my own student loans that I guaranfuckentee I'll have to pay off myself, I have my car loan that I'm paying myself, I have my own car insurance that I'm paying myself, I pay for my own gas, I pay for my own car parts and fuck I even install most of them, I pay for my own food when I go out... What the fuck does he think he is seriously doing that is above and beyond that qualifies as "supporting me"?!

So, needless to say, that comment pissed me off like no other... I called him out on it and literally told him that I don't appreciate the fact that he actually has the nerve to let himself believe that he is supporting me. You know, my plan has been that if we get married and have kids that I will be the one to continue to work because I plan to be an attorney and I know I will be making a lot of money... I would rather my kids not have to go to daycare so if my husband could stay at home, that would be perfect... Why the fuck would I want to go to work every single day and stress myself out while his stupid ass is at home with the kids probably playing a lot of video games... and me support his ass and his stupid fucking car?! You have got to be outside your mother fucking mind! There's no way in hell I am going to support his ass when he seriously thinks that in some sense of the word he is seriously supporting me...

I think he realized he was full of shit because then he started trying to say that he is supporting me mentally, physically, and emotionally... which as we all know is complete bull shit! He calls me names, makes fun of me, and is a total dick if I dont initiate sex...
After he made that comment I advised that we were talking about monetary support and he said "it's all about the money, isnt it?" like he's trying to change the subject or something... I mean really?! Cuz yeah, we've been together a year and a half and I'm just now getting this pissed about you not really taking care of me...

You know, I think that when I go back and read this at a later time I'm going to want to kick my own ass because if this was one of my friends, I would be telling them to get the fuck out of this relationship as soon as fucking possible. Why the hell am I staying in it then?! ... oh yeah, I can't afford to live on my own... I've been spending money taking my boyfriend out and trying to be the bigger person... big fucking mistake on my part!

So, I guess the plan will have to be to save up as much money as possible because I know in January I will be receiving about $2500 for being in school for my taxes and hopefully at that time I will be able to afford to buy myself a house because this just isn't cutting it for me... I need to have some leverage. I think he takes me for granted and I just can't deal with it anymore...

Part of me just wants to start saying things like, "I'm not paying for the groceries anymore because you're supporting me" or, "I'm not paying for my gas anymore because you're supporting me"... I just want to be a complete asshole about it... but I guess that wouldn't really be right on my part. But gosh! I can't even afford to buy myself a new fucking pair of pants and I have to worry about how much money I have in the bank all the fucking time... FUCK! If I had as much extra money as his does, you better believe I would be spending it on him... What a selfish fucking dick... How can he really sit there and invest that much money in his fucking car and not once ever offer to buy something for me or just let me not pay the mortgage one month or something... Fucking Shit! Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?! I hate men!